Edward Nibunnoichi
by Crystal Mizuka
Summary: After failing to locate the Philosopher's Stone at Hogwarts, Edward and Alphonse eventually make their way to China, quite by accident arriving at the Legendary Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo.


Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and its characters are the property of Hiromu Arakawa, Square Enix, BONES, and Aniplex. Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Kitty Films.

Edward Nibunnoichi (1/2)

Edward Elric looked down upon himself in horror. He grimaced as it occured to him that not only had he been turned female, but he'd apparently shrunk a foot in the process. Moreover, these damned springs had actually managed to transform him along with his automail. As much as he wanted to get his lost limbs back, he hadn't intended to get a gender change and now he had a bust to contend with. He was seriously considering the murder of the guy that had given him and Alphonse directions to this horrible place.

"Nii-san, it really isn't that bad."

Alphonse was fairing better than his big brother. No longer a suit of armor, he was the spitting image of his former self, aged accordingly for the four years that had passed since the fateful night that had started their ongoing search for the Philosopher's Stone.

"Not that bad!" Edward snapped. "How the hell am I going to explain this to that Smirking Bastard Taisa when we get back to Central!"

Ever the calm one, Alphonse had already gotten an idea. "Since falling into those particular springs made us like this, isn't it likely that if you just jump into the spring I fell into, you could be normal again?"

Edward considered the idea. "You're familiar with the analogy that you can never step in the same river twice. What if I get turned into something else?"

Alphonse looked embarassed. He hadn't thought about it like that. "You're right, at least like this you're still human."

"Mind you, I will personally kill Mustang Taisa if he gets any ideas about taking me shopping for bras," Edward actually flinched at his own words. What if he was stuck like this? He'd actually have to go through with that eventually. The shopping that is. Not with Roy though. He still had his dignity and Edward was not about to let Roy have that kind of satisfaction. It was too much for him to take.

"What the hell kind of place is this anyway!" Edward had spotted the Jusenkyo Tour Guide.

"Welcome to Cursed Springs Jusenkyo," replied the man holding up a sign. "You fall in 'Spring of Drown Girl' now take on body of young girl."

Edward resisted the urge to strangle the man for stating the obvious. "Please tell me there's a way to reverse this!"

"Well, if use 'Spring of Drown Man', take on body of man," the Guide shrugged.

Edward brightened considerably. "Then that means... Aru, where is that spring you fell into!"

Alphonse was relieved. As he was about to point out the location of the spring however, a certain bandanna-wearing martial artist with a bamboo umbrella suddenly burst up from the ground at their feet.

"I finally made it... wait, this isn't Tokyo." Ryoga seemed confused for a minute. Then he spotted the Jusenkyo Tour Guide. Ryoga looked ecstatic. "I found Jusenkyo! Now I can finally be cured of the Pig!"

Edward's golden eyes glinted dangerously. "You directionless moron! It's your fault I'm like this!" And of course, in true Fullmetal fashion, Edward pounced on Ryoga growling viciously.

Alphonse sighed. "Nii-san..."

* * *

Once Edward had finally exhausted himself trying to hurt Ryoga, the three teenagers had been invited to join the Jusenkyo Tour Guide for tea. Edward had completely failed to damage the thick-skinned martial artist and had also managed to completely forget about the 'Spring of Drown Man' and getting back to his proper gender. 

"Alright, I'll admit it. I'm curious. What exactly is your skin made out of anyway?"

Ryoga shrugged. "Have we met before?"

"You gave us directions before," replied Edward. His patience was long since spent.

Alphonse nodded. "You might recall a guy traveling around with a suit of armor." This is to say that Alphonse was very much enjoying being in a human form as he sipped his tea.

"Uh... oh, the Elric Brothers, right?" Ryoga blushed. "Did I give you those directions? To think, I didn't even know how to get here myself and now here we all are."

"This isn't funny," grumbled Edward. "How do I change back into a guy?"

Alphonse nodded. "You said something about being rid of the pig, so I'd guess you've fallen into one of those springs too. You don't look like a pig though."

"Oh, well the curse works like this-cold water changes me into a little black piglet and hot water changes me back into myself," explained Ryoga. "The solution is only temporary though."

Edward nodded. "I get it, you came back here hoping to find a way to rid yourself of the transformation."

"We're both after the same thing," replied Ryoga. "I just need to figure out which of these springs is the 'Spring of Drown Man' and I'll never turn into a pig again."

* * *

"What's the matter now?" asked Alphonse as they left Jusenkyo behind them. 

Edward sighed. "You do realize that whenever we take a shower from now on, you're gonna turn into a big suit of armor and I'm gonna end up with automail again, right?"

"It's a start," replied Alphonse. "Maybe we can fix it with the Philosopher's Stone."

Edward sweatdropped. "I'm glad one of us is optimistic."

* * *

"What, Hagane turned into a chick and you didn't tell me!" the exclaimation came from Roy's office. There was an exchange of sweatdrops among Havoc, Breda and Fuery. 

**The End**


End file.
